• Sarah Felton

The cycle of desire

Recently, I have been thinking about the cycle of desire and why we always want more. It seems to me that there is a need for us humans to acquire 'stuff.' We feel like we are somehow "less than" if we don't have the latest big thing. The cycle goes something like this: Need - Get - Rush wears off - Need - Get - Rush wears off and so on.

It was previously thought that it was the acquiring of 'stuff' that caused an increase in levels of dopamine in our brains but it's actually more closely related to the motivation to seek reward rather than the actually reward itself.

I think we are living in rather strange times right now. Life is pressured. We are constantly 'switched on' to those work emails or that never ending 'to - do' list. There pressure to be the most productive at work, to be everything to everyone. It can lead to a feeling of overwhelm.

We are increasingly materialistic and if we don't have the latest stuff we somehow feel like we are missing out. Or at least, that's my perception.

Pressure from everywhere to constantly be working, or replying to 'What's App' messages or instantly reply to a text. Worrying because the sender can see when a message has been read so people often feel they should reply instantly. When did life get so fast and more importantly what can be do about it?

I watched a program recently called 'Right on the Money.' In the program Dom Littlewood and Denise Lewis look to help people who have more going out than they have coming in, for a variety of reasons. My thoughts on this program were that people are putting so much pressure on themselves to keep up with the latest fashions, or can't say no to going out with friends. It feels to me as if 'saying no' is tricky for many people. It's taboo to talk about and so people keep pedaling to keep going. The chain has come off and so people tend to be pedaling but going nowhere.

Maybe it's time to go back to basics again and remember what we really need which is food, water, fresh air, clothes, connection with others and safety.

What do you think? Are we creating anxiety for ourselves?



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©2020 BY SARAH FELTON COUNSELLING - Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK